The Epiphanies of 2019 Bring the Foundation for 2020
2020 is rolling in and I now know that life is a continuous cycle of epiphanies, the sudden insight into a new reality.
Epiphany #1 -- NOTHING Truly Prepares You For the Best Job of All Time: Motherhood
I am closing 2019 beyond grateful for my family, friends, and my tribe! I have proudly added the new title of mother to my profile and it’s the greatest most challenging job I have ever had. I smile and laugh often, am in constant awe, but there have absolutely been tears, frustrating conversations and more questions than I have ever imagined.
My email, phone and even doorbell have been nonstop with my tribe being present, checking in on me and giving me well needed advice, support and gifts (which sometimes is just their personal experiences and knowledge).
I cannot stress enough that NOTHING properly prepares you for motherhood. No amount of parenting classes, babysitting nieces or nephews, child development or teaching careers fully equip you for motherhood. And if you’re exclusively breastfeeding, watch out!
Epiphany #2 -- Saying, “No,” Is Conducive To A Healthy Life
I wear many hats -- daughter, wife, mother, boss, professor, friend, aunt, mentor, and board member. However, I must take care of myself first to be successful in any of these roles. That means saying, “no,” and missing things and events.
In the recent and short, but fulfilling seven weeks since giving birth, I have missed birthdays of close friends, anticipated dinner parties, networking events and vacations. This is my new norm. I can no longer be present and available for everyone in my life. At best, my time now revolves around my son’s schedule. I am content with that and appreciate those in my life who understand this new reality.
Epiphany #3 -- Everyone Needs Help and Support, A Network, & A Team
Batman has Alferd & Robin, and the Black Panther is nothing without Dora Milaje, the amazing super women he’s surrounded by and even Marvel’s Avengers are all stronger together and as a team!
Last month, at just four weeks of age, my son, husband and I traveled via plane from New York to Boston as I spoke at the 2019 Massachusetts Conference for Women.
When I mentioned to anyone that my four week old son would be on a plane, they looked at me like I had four heads. Despite long delays due to a snow storm, everything went well, and he did not get sick!
As a working mother and senior executive, I learned that my son and future children may have to roll with me. I truly appreciate accommodations supporting working mothers. I now know that accommodations are mandatory!
The speaking opportunity at the conference was very special to me. I encourage women to use their voices for personal growth, especially women of color. I was honored to serve as an expert to thousands of dynamic women from all over the country. I felt empowered to make this happen due to the support and help of my husband. He’s a constant cheerleader pushing me to participate in spaces that I am passionate about.
Epiphany #4 -- Continuously Strengthen Your Toolbox
At the conference, I discussed how to be “Outspoken & Amplify Your Voice.” I shared with those in attendance at #MassWomen, what they need in their toolbox to amplify their voices and skills to help harness and understand their own voice and how to use it with confidence.
Shorthand, we should all use notepads, rather a mobile device or an actual notebook to quickly jot down and reference ideas, thoughts, new skills, accomplishments and successes. Amplify your voice by vocalizing what’s on your mind, in your heart, what makes you uniquely you, what sets you apart, and why you’re so special. This can only be done by tracking personal wins and being able to easily advocate for yourself. Keeping track of your successes and reviewing them when necessary helps you to prepare your elevator speech, which conveniently or inconveniently depending on preparation, comes up more than you imagine.
We all need reminders of what makes us great, which builds the confidence needed to be outspoken. Moreover, amplifying your voice as a woman of color allows you to represent key cultural, racial, and ethnic audiences bringing necessary perspectives to the forefront. This has been a huge benefit in my career. Diversity comes in many forms of course, for instance gender, race, religion, sexual orientation, age, and socioeconomic background, all of which contribute to an individual’s unique experience of the world.
A skill that we should all have in our toolbox is being able to humbly brag. When people say, “Tell me about yourself.” How do you answer that? Always be able to be your own publicist and publicize your uniqueness.
Epiphany #5 -- What I’ve learned from a 7 week year old baby
I try to capture every moment of J2’s {Jeffrey Michael Gambrell II} life, as I increase my iCloud capacity due to all the photos and videos I’m constantly taking so that I remember this time in my life. Here’s what I know for sure:
Nothing is more important than my son’s smile. My son smiles often, it warms my heart and let’s me know that all is well.
Surround yourself with love and make it a part of your daily routine.
Eat well & sleep. As you can imagine, my son does much of this, but it’s also important for me to do it too, especially for lactation purposes :) .
We all need help, my son needs my help and I need help too.
Answer these questions often: Who is in your tribe? Who can you call for respected advice and mentorship? Yes, your friends can serve as mentors and you should absolutely have some who do. Is your tribe helping you to grow? I am growing so much because I am learning from my amazing friends who are getting me through tough new moments, minutes, hours and this new season.
At 32, I am growing in The Lord, married to the love of my life and have checked many boxes on my to do list. Time doesn’t slow down for anyone and that’s why I strive to be present. Present and living in gratitude, asking questions, seeking answers, and forever grateful for new epiphanies.
May God bless your 2020 abundantly and exceedingly!
